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How To Be The Love You Seek – Book Review

In her latest work, “How To Be The Love You Seek,” Dr. Nicole LePera, already renowned for her #1 New York Times bestseller How to Do the Work, presents a revolutionary guide focused on mending relationships, starting with our own self-relationship.

As Gabor Maté M.D., a New York Times bestselling author, aptly describes, this book is “A practical, easy-to-read, and motivational guide on fostering genuine connection and love towards others.”

Human relationships, whether they’re familial, romantic, or platonic, are fundamental to our existence. Our very biology and psychology are designed to crave connections. However, these same relationships can be sources of profound pain. While we inherently seek compassionate bonds, our nervous systems, burdened with past traumas and disappointments, often react defensively, leading to negativity.

For years, conventional wisdom on relationships has preached compromise, urging us to alter our true selves to accommodate others. Dr. LePera challenges this notion, arguing that it breeds lifelong resentment rather than resolution.

In “How to Be the Love You Seek,” Dr. LePera, known for her integrative and holistic approach to psychology, charts a fresh course for relationship healing. Drawing on cutting-edge scientific findings, she demonstrates how our earliest relationships shape our current dysfunctional patterns, perpetuating a state of internal conflict, even with our loved ones.

This book, concluding her “How To” trilogy, guides readers away from trauma bonds and towards relationships grounded in mutual respect and empathy. It equips you with tools to establish safety within yourself, recognize unfulfilled needs, develop emotional resilience, achieve heart coherence for deeper emotional connections, and sustain healthy interdependence in your community.

Dr. LePera’s book is particularly useful for anyone struggling to maintain desired relationships or facing specific challenges with family members, partners, friends, or colleagues. She teaches us how to break harmful cycles and reconnect with our heart’s inherent ability to love, which is the cornerstone of all healing. By accessing this power, we embody the love we seek.

“How to Be the Love You Seek” is more than just a book; it’s a comprehensive healing guide for all seeking to break generational cycles. Filled with personal stories, exercises, journal prompts, and practical tools, it’s a transformative roadmap for anyone looking to foster healthier, more compassionate relationships.

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